I am keeping this entry as part of an ongoing record: lived experience, spiritual inquiry, and the patient work of finding language for what moves between the visible and the unseen.
There are times when I struggle to find the right words to engage in everyday conversation, especially when it comes to the physical and mundane aspects of life. My reality is shaped differently because I am a psychic, someone who sees and experiences the world through a lens that many others may not understand. This altered perception is not only a gift but also a challenge, as my life experiences—both on the physical and metaphysical planes—have profoundly shaped who I am. Yet, I often find myself needing to refrain from speaking about certain topics, especially when it comes to the ongoing spiritual warfare I’m deeply aware of.
One of the biggest struggles I face is how to stay silent about these matters when negative forces are still actively attacking me. It’s difficult not to respond or defend myself, whether through out-loud words or other forms of communication. These attacks aren’t just metaphysical abstractions; they feel real, present, and destructive, gnawing away at my spirit and sometimes even my will. The harm they cause is tangible, and the need to protect myself becomes urgent. But here’s where the conflict lies—how do I choose not to confront something that is literally causing me harm? How do I remain quiet when my spirit is being chipped away at by forces that seem relentless in their pursuit?
It’s a delicate balancing act—one where I know that staying away from certain topics, especially in casual conversations, can help me maintain a sense of normalcy. However, the truth remains that these negative forces continue to attack me, and it becomes harder to compartmentalize my experiences. How do I carry on with my daily life when I’m constantly engaged in a battle on the spiritual plane? And yet, I recognize that speaking out about it too often, especially in front of those who may not understand, can create more problems than solutions.
What’s frustrating is that I know deep down I am innocent. Those who truly understand the situation, those who are spiritually aligned with the truth, know this as well. Yet, there are still those who will attempt to paint me in a negative light, as though my outward expressions—my out-loud words—are part of the problem. The reality is quite the opposite. My voice, the one I’ve used to confront these forces, has done far more good than harm. In fact, it has saved lives, including my own, and yet, it is my voice that is often under scrutiny.
There are those in the spirit realm who take issue with my speaking out, and I can sense their disapproval. They expect me to remain silent, even when everything inside me is telling me to speak up and defend myself. I’ve worked hard to align my actions and words with what I believe to be the correct path, the one outlined by my guides and the true spiritual authorities I trust. And yet, there seems to be a disconnect—while I follow what I know to be the right way, the negative forces seem intent on distorting the truth. They twist reality in ways that reflect poorly on me, and it becomes increasingly difficult to reconcile the true law and authority with what I’m experiencing.
This is perhaps one of the most troubling aspects of it all. The law and authority, as I understand them in the spiritual realm, are supposed to guide and protect. They should be ensuring justice, balance, and order, yet time and again, I witness these negative forces interfering, distorting what should be. The spiritual warfare I’m enduring isn’t just a personal battle—it’s part of a larger problem that transcends my individual experiences. There’s a sense of frustration in knowing that those who are supposed to protect me, those who are aligned with the true law, aren’t always fulfilling their duties. And when they don’t, it’s left to me to defend myself, to speak up even when I’m being told to stay silent.
This creates a dilemma: I know I should refrain from constantly addressing these topics in public, especially around those who aren’t attuned to the spiritual realm as I am. But how can I stay silent when these forces are actively working against me, sometimes through regular people on this physical plane? It’s terrifying to consider that some of the attacks I experience might be manifesting through seemingly ordinary individuals who are, unknowingly or knowingly, being used as conduits for these negative entities. The weight of this realization is immense. How do you explain to someone who only sees the world through the physical lens that there are forces beyond their comprehension influencing their actions and behaviors?
It’s not just a metaphysical battle; it bleeds into the physical world, into interactions with people who don’t even realize they are part of something larger. And this is where the real fear lies. The out-loud voice I use to defend myself is sometimes blamed as the problem, when in truth, it is the very thing keeping me grounded, keeping me alive. My voice has been a tool of salvation, not destruction, and yet, I’m constantly faced with the misunderstanding of those who think silence would solve the problem. They don’t understand the intricacies of what I’m facing, the complexity of spiritual interactions that go beyond what is seen or heard in the physical world.
This struggle isn’t just about spiritual attacks—it’s about the broader dynamics of power and authority within the spiritual and metaphysical realms. True law and authority should be setting the rules, maintaining balance, yet what I’m experiencing feels like the opposite. Negative forces seem to be able to manipulate situations, twist interactions, and create chaos, while those who should be stepping in to protect and restore order remain passive. This dissonance is deeply unsettling. How do I trust in the greater spiritual authorities when they don’t seem to be fulfilling their roles?
Ultimately, I know that the truth is on my side, and that those who truly understand the situation recognize my innocence and the real source of the problems. But that doesn’t make the daily struggle any easier. I feel like I’m constantly walking a tightrope, trying to find the balance between speaking out and staying silent, between defending myself and letting things go. And all the while, the attacks continue, chipping away at my spirit, making it harder to navigate both the physical and metaphysical worlds.
I want nothing more than to live peacefully, without the constant threat of these negative forces, without the need to constantly defend myself. But until the true spiritual authorities step in and do their jobs, I’m left to navigate this battlefield on my own, using the tools I have—my voice, my intuition, and my connection to the deeper truths that guide me. And though the journey is fraught with challenges, I remain steadfast, knowing that in the end, the light will always prevail over the darkness.
