Returning to an early perception
I do not talk about this often. The story begins when I was around fifteen or sixteen, long before I had a vocabulary for spiritual defence or an archive large enough to hold the questions. During quiet moments, especially when I looked into open air or the changing light of twilight, I noticed distinct coloured points moving independently around me. They were not a metaphor while I was seeing them. They felt as immediate as the ordinary world I had been told to navigate.
The dots appeared in deep blue, purple, pink, and magenta. Sometimes they were white or soft yellow. I remember one night under a blue moon when the spectrum seemed to change completely, bringing red, orange, and a profound velvety black into the field. I remember the colours more clearly than I remember my explanation for them. That is one reason I keep returning to the memory: it is evidence of an experience, not proof of the story I later built around it.
Two frameworks, held honestly
There are scientific possibilities I take seriously. The Blue Field Entoptic Phenomenon can make bright moving points visible as white blood cells pass through retinal capillaries, particularly against a bright background. Phosphenes can also create light sensations through pressure, neural activity, or other processes inside the visual system. I do not see respect for those explanations as a betrayal of the spiritual meaning the experience acquired for me.
My personal metaphysical interpretation is that some of the lights may have been what I later called prana or Vitality Globules: a name for the felt sense of living energy moving through reality. I present that as an interpretation, not established science. A teacher I found through a conspiracy forum, ATS/BTS, gave me another language for it: the possibility that the spiritual and metaphysical world is not only around the body but also around the earth, so that leaving a house can feel like entering an entirely different world or field.
I have learned to let the frameworks remain in dialogue. Science may describe a mechanism while spirituality asks what the experience means. Neither should be forced to erase the other, and neither should be used to turn a perception into a universal law.
The Light and the heart
Over time, The Light became more than something I associated with vision. In my working framework it is a moral field, responsive not to performance or spiritual branding but to intention, empathy, ethical action, and the way we treat other beings. The Original Setting is the phrase I use for a more fundamental, non-living source or baseline that can be addressed, worked with, and imagined as capable of adjusting karmic variables. These are personal spiritual models, not laboratory findings.
Heart Radiance is my most practical way of meeting that field. I begin by imagining a white orb at the centre of my chest. I use will rather than waiting for the right mood, and I ask which emotions are mine and which may be coming from the atmosphere around me. Then I direct compassion, joy, humility, inspiration, and sensual love outward in an ethical way. Finally, I let the radiance expand through the whole emotional body, so the heart becomes a field rather than a point. I treat this as contemplative practice, not medical advice or scientific fact.
For me, love and morality are connected. Forgiveness, service, intention, and the consequences of my actions shape what I call karma. God-Realization is not a performance of perfection; it is a gradual alignment with truth, compassion, responsibility, and the deepest love I can actually live.
Returning without losing discernment
Some of my older notes describe the ordinary world as a suppression field: a place where the ego and the consensus story of solid, unmagical matter can make contact with the Light feel inaccessible. I now read that language more carefully. It can describe a felt loss of access, but it must not become a reason to dismiss health, evidence, or the shared world. Spiritual sovereignty is not escape from reality. It is the work of becoming more responsible inside it.
The date attached to my origin note is November 22, 1991. In that note, a voice from the Higher Self describes the dots as breadcrumbs carried into this life. I keep the passage as a poetic transmission, not a fact I can prove: the light you see is not an arrival, but a remembrance. Whether the dots were retinal phenomena, spiritual perception, or both, the memory still asks me to look with wonder and with care. I do not want the world to talk me out of the experience, and I do not want my interpretation to talk anyone else out of their own discernment.